Ironic – Pt. 15

It was ironic. I was looking for an escape to only find out there was no escaping -there was only masking. It was my life transposed in an alternate world. There were moments where I stood there, taking everything in, just observing…

In that world, everyone was looking for a way out, always chasing something… running away, but always chasing something… chasing the high. They would find a way out to only find themselves looking for a way back in to again only look for a way out. It was a vicious cycle. It was never ending. It was my life just in a different world. The same nonsense in a different form, the same routine in a different way, the same bullshit …. the same vicious cycle. It just happened a lot more frequently, than it did in my life. The same volcanic eruption that would take months sometimes years to unfold, would take seconds and minutes. The recovery process from set eruption that would take months sometimes years, would take seconds and minutes.

The way they sought out their night was the way I sought out my life -it was the way I dealt with everything. Always looking for an escape, I way out. Now there is a lot I haven’t shared about my behind-the-scenes, and there are many reason for that, reasons I won’t go into… So, when reading this it may not seem to be a big realization, but it truly was. There were nights where I fet like I watching a movie on repeat, people making the same reckless decisions over and over, weekend after weekend, never learning, never improving -only getting worst, it was quite sad. I saw people do things that compromised who they are, things that maybe they wouldn’t have done had they been in their right mind, but there were instances couldn’t help of think if it was really just who they were, just magnified. The way they compromised their self-worth was the way I compromised self-love.

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To be continued…

<<Part 14        Part 16>>

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