Behind The Escape – Pt. 18

As much as I didn’t want to be part of that world, I felt nothing. It didn’t phase me. I was so numb to everything. Nothing surprised me, nothing shocked me… I had zero attachment to anything. And, as much as I was surrounded by many, I was surround be no one… well at least not anyone that meant anything to me. I created my own bubble, my own vicious cycle… I was on self-destruct, literally my own worst enemy. I was so disappointed in myself… one, I misjudged those I allowed in, two, I failed to see them for who they were, and three, I didn’t see it coming… I should know better, after all, I’ve lived my life with such a crafty character, one of many masks. Throughout the years, I’ve come to realize that actions speak much louder, than words. I guess you can say that’s why I’m obervant in more ways, than one; always having to read body language, feel out the vibe, understand the situation and adapt, no questions asked, just go with it. Anyways, going back, the thing that disappointed me the most was I failed myself, failed to hold myself a float, holding my shit together. And, the fact that I was doing what I was doing, didn’t make it any better, it actually made at worst… I was even more of a failure… I saw myself as weak. I was so lost, trapped in my bubble and I didn’t know how to get out. I didn’t even know where to start.

 

 

To be continued…

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