It Was Over – Pt. 19

It was a crazy weekend of partying, non-stop, once again I had pulled a disappearing act, Friday to Sunday -gone! No where to be found. I was off the grid. Again, it felt great, no worries in sight. But, I wanted out, I saw it for what it was. The only thing was, I just didn’t know how to do it, I was so immersed in it all, I didn’t even know where to start. For weeks now, I had been feeling that, yet I took no action toward it. I wanted change, but I did nothing for it…. so really how bad did really I want it? Interesting, now that I think about it. I thought it, but did nothing; I said it and did nothing; as if, it was just going to happen, as if, I didn’t need to do anything for it. I can just ignore it, overlook it, like I have many of the other things in my life… it will work itself out.

This whole experience taught me a lot. One of which, if you truly want something, do it. It doesn’t what it takes, it doesn’t what it looks like, it doesn’t fucking matter… just get it done! BE ABOUT IT! Make the commitment and don’t look back, it’s worth it. It doesn’t matter the cost, the reward is much greater because, at this point, it’s life or death. Literally, if I continued I would most definitely come to an end, I know it… I pushed limits, I built quite a tolerance… Ironic.

But, like I was saying, at that point, it doesn’t matter what you have to give up, it doesn’t matter what you need to do for yourself to heal, it doesn’t matter what it takes or how long it takes… you do it! Get it done! No excuses! Talk is cheap and sometimes you have to just go for it… even if it is ugly, even if it hard, even if it is a journey you never thought you would take… fuck it, just do it! There is reason why you were given this path, make something of it. Who cares what people think? Who cares what stories they create? Who the fuck cares at this point? It doesn’t matter. Take the bull by the balls and make a fucking move…

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To be continued…

<<Part. 18        Part 20>>

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