Carina RemiSo here I am thinking of you… it happens more often than not, and it’s by my own hand, for rather than conversing with you. I just observe… maybe I am wrong, maybe I am right… who knows?! But, it’s interesting though, because I see the way in which you act, and hear the things that you say, and none of them co-inside with one and other. You stand there taking offense of my lack of knowledging you, yet you fail to acknowledge all that surrounds you. You claim to not be that guy, but yet you are that guy. You sit there assuming, taking note, without even caring to uncover truth, yet you are curious to what it is. You claim not to be capable, yet you are fully capable, just unwilling. So tell me, how is it, I’m suppose understand all of it?! Especially, when you are so strategic in avoiding that which makes you uncomfortable.
For you are lost in who you are, not knowing what it is you want out of this life… claiming to want that which you couldn’t care less of, if it happened or not. Lying to yourself and others, putting on a mask as if that is the thing to say, the thing to want, but never putting it into action… Why?! Because, you’re afraid… Afraid of what? Of growing up? Commitment? Hahaha… Don’t make me laugh. For you have committed to many things in your life, you are just neglecting to see them as commitments -ignorance at it’s finest. For we both know it took numerous commitments for you to be standing here today… How is this one different? Matters of heart?… You assume to to know that which you have to yet experience, basing your knowledge off of that which you observe, not acknowledging that everything is what you make it of.. placing all these boundaries upon your life as if they protect you, protect you from whatever it is you are think you need protection from. This is the vary thing that stops you from all of life’s greatest pleasures. One of which you claim to want… \
For you were given a second chance, why are you wasting it being the same way you once were? Don’t you think there is something more meant for you?! If not, it’s unfortunate, that you think so low of yourself, disregarding the impact you have on others… the influence you have. Such a beautiful soul wasted.. You are probably mind rattled at how it is I could know what you have yet to see, how little time it took to figure it all out… that is, how insightful I am to what is, given the brief moments spent together. You see, I’ve learnt to observe that which is, abstracting meaning from only that which is acted upon, for I have walked along many paths, which took action, not words.
For I was given a second chance once… actually twice, so really it’s a third chance, and I realized there so much more to take away from this life… I used to think that is what drew our souls together, similar circumstances just different paths, until I realized it hasn’t clicked for you yet. You have yet to grasp why it is you were given a second chance, clinging to that which you know, that which is comfortable… It saddens me, not because I was mislead, but because of your lack of awareness, not to me, but to yourself. That is, not being honest with which with you are willing to work for, that which you want and desire, for you fail you acknolwedge how much of a walking contradiction you really are… how you impact those that care about you, because you are so self-involved in your fears, doubts and insecurities, such that, it drives others to naturally begin to question themselves wondering if it is them…. wondering if there is something wrong with them, they aren’t good enough, or even worst they were just a means to an end. And, that… that was when I had to let go… Not because I didn’t care…. but rather, because I cared too much… and there is no use in caring for that which couldn’t care less, that which is blinded and unwilling. For you are so caught up in the past, not realizing the future is what lies ahead.
One day it will come to you, it will click, and you will understand why it is you were given a second chance… one day you will acknowledge your impact, you will understand your influence, and on that day you see all that was lost along the way, making you appreciate all that is that much more. I can’t wait for that day, not for selfish reasons, but rather for you… for it will be the most gratifying experience, the warmth, the love and the joy you will feel from within will be priceless. For now, I leave you be as you carry out your journey.
-C.Remi
