Tainted Karma

I was left tainted by your touch…
The bruises faded away,
But the scars…
They run deep.

The fear that runs through my veins,
And the thought
Of it ever happening again…
Cripples my soul.

You were always so crafty…
A master at manipulating
Characteristics to gain control.
Always to your advantage,
Whether it was to thrill,
Or instill…
Leaving me forever on
Defensive mode,
Ready for a war…
Who wins this time?!

Years…
You drained me
Of many years.

No doubt,
It was real…
The passion…
The intensity…
The intellect…
It was all there.

The vary thing that drew us together,
Was the vary thing that drew apart…
We were wild,
Reckless and dangerous,
But we were us…
We were that couple,
The one everyone wanted to be.
You being who you were…
And me being who I was…
Us the way we were…

Crazy twisted kind of love,
And as fucked up
As we were,
We understood each other.
Perfect for one and other.
But toxic…
Polluted by abuse,
Destructive with passion.

Yet my hate,
Was never as strong as my love for you…
Always finding
Our way back to
Each other.
Six years…

The control was undeniable,
The hold was incredible.

The continued tolerance,
Destroying parts of me…
While building up others.

So many years,
Lost to you,
And a few…
Lost for you…

So many fucking years…
Gone…

And now,
Karma hits you.
You feel the emptiness,
That once resided inside me,
The loneliness that consumed me,
The disappointment that shattered me…

Suffocating in it all,
Looking for an escape,
To only never have a way out.

Now you finally get it,
Because you feel it…
All that which went unseen,
Which you seamlessly ignored,
While caused by your hand.

Blinded ignorance,
Twisted with manipulation.

But how tainted is it?!
For you now live with the outmost regret,
Paying your dues…
As everything is the exact opposite,
Of what you wanted…
And there is no way out…

For me it was six years,
Of biting my tongue…
Sacrificing myself at the cost of you…

And I walked away knowing…
One day,
You would come to understand,
All that you took for granted,
All that which,
You never took the time to comprehend…
The time to appreciate…

Now here you are served,
Not to the same degree,
But with a lifetime…

Tainted karma.

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