So a lot has been taken place over the past few months, zero to one hundred real quick. Between being single to a two dates to full fledged relationship, where we are now living together… to a two new books on the verge of release and mindset course on the way… all the way to the other four additional projects I’ve been working on alongside various people… it’s been wild. It’s been busy.
I’ve always been busy, so it’s nothing new. But now, it’s different… only making time for the things that I truly care about. And it’s been like that for a while, I would say the last two-three years. I couldn’t tell you the number of plans I have cancelled, birthdays I have missed and dates I have avoided.
You see, when you are twenty it’s different, you have all the time in the world. Time isn’t as important, wasting energy isn’t as big of a deal. But, you hit thirty and you start looking back thinking “WTF have I done?!”
Hilarious really, because as a teenager you sit there panning life out so differently, thinking that by this age you will have that, and that age that, and whatever else. But life takes you for a ride and time… well time just flies and shit well… shit just happens.
And it’s like you reach your late twenties, twenty-eight, but twenty-nine really… and you just reflect. You notice just how much time you wasted, how much energy you gave away… for what?! NOTHING… fucking nothing.
And so, you begin to restructure, analyze, becoming more strategic with what it is you do, why it is you do it and who it is you do it with… most importantly, to what extend do you do it?! You begin to build a floor plan, a layout… blueprint as to who is allowed where, in what space and for what reason… a blueprint to how it is your social structure impedes on your internal.
Because that is really what it is, the allowance of energy, time and people in our space… that is what truly defers us, as it is all a distraction.
I’m a huge believer that we are here for a reason. And we are each born alone, one by one, twins or not, it is always as one… solo… single file. Each here for our individual purpose. But it is the noise of our surroundings that influence whether or not we will purse the vary reason of our being.
I know… I just got deep with that. And I’m going to let you register it in. But the main reason why I brought it up was because lately there has been a lot of noise. Not in the sense of distraction, but in the sense of too much purpose… if that makes any sense?!
You see, because as much as the noise within our surroundings can and will influence whether or not we will fulfill our intended purpose. The noise within our purpose can in fact defer our intended purpose.
Sit with that…
There will always be noise, with purpose and without, in purpose and out of purpose. And it is important to note, that just because you are with purpose, in purpose… you can still have noise that defers you. And that noise can, and if not, is more dangerous than all, because it disrupts your calm. Why?! Because it is deeper, closer… it can have you getting lost in the vision, rather than staying on track with it… floating rather than staying grounded.
And that is a scary place to be, as you can get caught up in the emotion of it all. Especially for me, as harmony has never been so in check as it is now. Things have never flowed as well as they have now, and maybe that’s because I have finally mastered protecting while accepting or maybe karma has finally granted me the chance to reap…
I have no idea and I’m not questioning any of it… I’m super grateful for every single bit of it, for everything is finally falling into place. After so many years of blindly rollercoaster riding to come to a place where you can now see, you can prepare for the downs and ups… is everything. But it’s a space I’ve never been… one I’ve never experienced. So the whirlwind of emotions flare with excitement, enjoyment and happiness, and grounding can be difficult.
So with that, I’ve notice I haven’t given myself the silence I need. The lax I require. The moments of just listening, rather than doing. Because as great as it is… everything working out, keeping the consistency and excitement toward working for our goals, it is just as important to take a moment. A step to just be still. To observe and absorb.
Because no matter how on point you are, how on track you are, there could be details being missed, solely because we aren’t listening for them. We aren’t listening because we think… we believe… we are so on course, we don’t think we need to, or better yet, we forget. And we might be neglecting to be see just what might tip it all over… good or bad.
So listen… stay still, not for too long, but long enough to hear…
Black & White Answers is about the journey of life… doubt and hurt… deceit, pain and love. It encompasses all that is, all that was and all that will be. A collection of poems, which tells more than just a story… They share a journey, the search on how to find, and love yourself amidst heartache. It asks and answers questions which the soul desires while the heart dreads, yet the mind appreciates. It is a clearing…