So I am a dodger… a runner. When there is too much politics… too much drama, I just don’t want to be a part of it. I avoid or a run, whichever works in the moment. Because I just can’t deal, maybe it’s because when I was younger caused a lot of it… or maybe it’s because life for me has always been drama. Always something happening. Battles to fight. Things to overcome. Not only on a personal level, but family and business. It was constant -it is constant. And I guess, one just get to point that it all becomes too much. Yearning and longing for peace as they have been at war for far too long.
I legit ran away to Portugal for a year to get the f*ck away… I bounced. I was out, with not even a second thought. Just needed out. Literally looked at the situation that was and said ‘naw, I can’t… I’m out!’. Being at war your whole life -it’s exhausting. And I hate fighting, but when I fight…. hunni be careful. Careful. Hence why I don’t like it, because it brings a part of me out that impacts my inner being so severely that I’m thrown off balance for days. It affects me on such levels that I’m not thrown mentally, emotionally and spiritually, but physically as well.
And the thing is I used think dodging was bad thing, I used to cast shame on myself thinking that I couldn’t handle the situation, hence why I would run away from it. And I used really put myself down over it. Thinking how immature it was to not being able to handle it and having to run from it. But now… now I see it as the smartest fucking thing ever. WHY?! Because there isn’t a use wasting energy on that which doesn’t serve you.
What does fighting and politics get you?! Unless you actually need to fight, such as legal proceedings, other than that there really isn’t a point. Or unless it’s staged for make-up sex than I mean… that’s okay -it’s allowed. But other than that, it doesn’t get you anywhere, except frustrated and depleted. So running away -dodging isn’t immature, it’s probably the most mature thing to do. Walk away.
Come back to it once settled and communicate… discuss. Because being at war will only get you killed.