As stated in one of my other articles, Why Is It Important To Change Your Language?, our language dictates our external actions well reflecting our internal urges and emotions/feelings. It is a gateway to our state of being -our state of mind. The words we use not only impact us on a conscious level, but on a subconscious level, especially the words ‘no’ and ‘not’; granted that our brains can’t perceive the absence something without first perceiving the presence of it.
For example. We can’t picture ‘not drinking’ without picturing drinking. We can’t visualize ‘no cake’ without visualizing a cake. We first must see the presence of the ‘thing/action’ to then comprehend its void so to say. But the thing is, once we picture its presence, we are actually giving power to that which we are negating.
So have you ever began a diet, looked at the list of foods you can’t eat, and for some reason that week or month or whatever it may be, you can’t help but want all the food listed in the ‘no eat’ list. Well that’s because what you resist you give power too, and that is simply because we are focused on resisting it. We are focused on the ‘no’, ‘not’ and the ‘can’t’, rather than visualizing the foods you can eat, we are picturing the foods we can’t. And we do this thinking it helps us stay away, be disciplined and committed. But in actuality, it pulls us in.
Because again, we can’t visualize the absence of something without visualizing its presence. And what you think about you bring out, so focusing on the resistance will only bring more attention to it, making it more difficult to overcome it. As our energy goes where our attention flows. So by thinking about what to avoid, you will essentially bring it about, as that is where your focus resides.
So in the case of switching up our habits and routines, using the words ‘no’ and ‘not’ actually works against us. For one, we naturally resist change, as we are creatures of comfort mixed in with all sort of emotional baggage such as, doubt, fear, insecurities, etc. Self-preservation a natural human instinct. Second, our minds have limitations, they are constrained by time and space. We only come to understand something through relativity, meaning everything requires a relation in both time and space, or else we wouldn’t be able to comprehend it.
You can’t picture a chair, without visualizing its dimensions and furthermore, you can’t visualize its dimensions without reference to something else. Its height, footprint, shape… can’t be understood unless relative to another chair or a table or whatever else. All existing within time and space. So again, to visualize its absence we must first visualize its presence, and its presence is only understood by its relativity/reference to something.
And in the case of change, its reference is resistance. And as stated prior, what we resist is what we give power too, because once again, we can’t visualize the absence of thing without visualizing its presence. So when wanting to transform our habits and/or our routines, we must say away from the words ‘no’, ‘can’t’ and ‘not’, as it will empower that which we don’t want, rather than enforcing that which we do.