Why?! Simple. Gratitude is game changer. 

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Let me share a story with you. Recently, I had a setback. And it really took me for a ride, it had me feeling disappointed and down. For the last little while, I was dealing, healing and just coming to terms with a break up. It was a relationship that started out great, I had so many hopes, but as time went on truth revealed itself and it turned into an extremely toxic environment. One where I was put down, disrespected, disregarded, discredited, devalued… the list goes on.

And the thing is, I’m a person that can take a lot. Life has always hit me left, right and center. And growing up in a family of entrepreneurship, family business, when shit gets rough, you never close the door and call it a quits. You deal with it, you get through it, you find a solution. So it’s been engrained in me to truck it through. And not even with just business, with relationships as well, as I’ve seen my mom stand by my father’s side through a whole lot of bullshit. So again, it’s what it has always been. It’s all I know -making it through tough times, pulling through. You never surrender, you find a way and make it happen. You make it work.

Not working…

But in this case, it didn’t work. And the sad part, it wasn’t me calling the quits. Even though, it should have very well been me, given the toxicity of the other person. It was them… and they do so by blaming me. Putting me down yet again, blaming me for their unhappiness, even after all the changes made to satisfy them – I still wasn’t enough. So much so, they couldn’t help but remind me yet again. Completely obvious to the hurt they had been inflicting for the last four months. So of course, as you can imagine… I was extremely discouraged.

Because not only was I put down, my dreams, my work… everything was shitted on. Shitted on by someone I thought would be the one I would do life with, someone I thought had my back and knew me. Knew my worth and knew who I was. And it wasn’t. So not only was I discouraged because of the torment, I was hugely discouraged within myself. How was I so certain on someone that was uncertain?! 

Spiralling…

And so that put me in a bit of a hole, downward spiral of depression for a good four months. For the first three-four months after the break up, I focused on work and got done what I needed to get done. But the moment, I gave myself the time to process everything. It definitely took a toll. I didn’t care to cook, read, meditate, write… nothing. All the things I loved doing, I no longer cared to do. I felt worthless, empty and broken. This person teared me down so much in such a short period of time, after building me up for so long, pulling the rug beneath my feet as progress was being made -it was shock, especially as I was the one enduring. But hey it is what it is. 

Another disappointment…

So with all of that, the process of healing was… a lot. And when I finally decided that I had to get out of this place of suffering. I gave myself a routine, I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to stick to that routine. Not giving into my ‘feelings’ so to say. You know the ones of feeling sorry for yourself… sulking in misery. And I ended up being too stern, too aggressive in sticking to the plan -the routine, and that I ended up causing another setback. Leaving me with a whole lot of disappointment.

Just when I thought I was getting out of the spiral wind of feeling like shit for lack of better words, I was put right back into it. And this time, by my own hand. And it killed me. I remember thinking what the fuck did I do to deserve the string of bullshit. I’m actually trying to actively get better, move forward, but instead I ended up taking two steps back.

I was so miserable, because just as I was piecing myself together. There I was facing another sack of bullshit. It sucked. I hated life. I hated everything. For a good week, I cried almost everyday. I put myself down and right back into that hole. Thinking when will I get a break, when will life be on my side crying to my mom and she said, ‘Carina, look at everything you have been through, you have always made it out. Not many people can say that. Keeping going, there is so much to be thankful for…’

And those words stuck with me… there is so much to be thankful for.

Shifting focus…

When shit goes wrong, we tend to focus on the shit going wrong. All the things that aren’t working in our favour and that puts us into a deeper hole. It’s only when we focus on what is right, that we excel, we progress and move forward. It is only when we are grateful that we begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It isn’t easy, but it isn’t hard either -it is a mindset. A shift, that not only changes your state of being, but changes your state of living. It transforms you. And it allows for more goodness to come in

The minute, I forced myself, because believe me for the first few days I forced myself to see greatness in everything. Which I usually do, hence why I end up always being in predicaments that I’m taken for granted. But in this scenario, I was completely done looking at the positive. I had zero optimism… and if you know me, you know I exude optimism. But I forced myself, miserably. And as time went on, that forced gratitude turned into real gratitude. Believable gratitude. And it changed everything.

Game changer…

I had energy, motivation, inspiration, drive… all the things that make me -me, came back. Everything slowly flowing in with ease. And even though, I was still and am still dealing with the most recent setback, it’s been a breeze. It’s built my confidence and certainty. It has allowed me to stand in my power. Most importantly, it allowed me to see my power. It’s allowed me to welcome more blessings, by simply counting my blessings.

Not only am I grateful for things that I have, I’m grateful for the things I don’t… the things I took for granted. As it has allowed to experience life a little bit differently for the time being. Forcing me to surrender, trust and have faith; and not that I didn’t have any of those things, but it’s more so pushing the envelope. It’s extending those concepts to a higher understanding. Most importantly, it has me asking for help… truly sitting in my divine feminine, such for someone who is super hyper-independent, it’s hard to ask… it’s much easier to just do. It has me allowed to accept what I saw as weaknesses as strength. Vulnerability is so powerful, something which I never truly grasped until now… and that in itself is truly a blessing.

I mean, it sucks that it took what it took to understand that, but hey… there is a reason for everything. And it’s only in looking at the offerings within the challenges we are faced with, do we truly come to know gifts being presented to us.

Lead with love…

So what I offer to you is, express gratitude always… for everything. Even the small things. Like food in fridge, the job you have, the roof over your head. It may not be perfect, it may not be everything you want. But it is what you have, and we can only work with what we have. And the more, you are thankful for what you have, the more you will receive. Because when we focus on shit, only shit comes… but when we focus on the good, only goodness comes. So it doesn’t really matter where you are, even if it’s not where you want to be, appreciate it. As it is the stepping stone to where you are going, because only then will you reach your destination to where you want to go.

There is good in everything, we just have to be willing to see it. For the universe isn’t ever working against us, it is always working for us…

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