There are many things that keep us from making decisions, one of the main reasons is not wanting to make the wrong one. But the more we worry about not making the right one, the more we procrastinate about making any. And that will hinder you more than you can imagine. It will keep you from progress, whether it be progress in learning what you don’t want or progress in getting what you do.
You see, everything is a learning experience and should be treated as such. Because even if things don’t go your way or work out as planned, there is something to be learned. Something to be taken away and utilized the next time around. And I don’t mean carry your past ‘mistakes’ with you, I mean understand your past setbacks. What led to them?! What mindset were you operating from?! Was it scarcity?! Fear?! Doubt?! Worry?!
Furthermore, was it rooted within the situation or was it rooted within you?! Because that is really the key. It is one thing to feel off about a situation and another for you to react to the situation. What I mean by this is, is the situation throwing you off or are you throwing that situation off?! And that requires really getting clarity on what is at play. What needs attending within you granted that, majority of the time, we are the ones holding ourselves back. We believe it to be the situation, but in actuality it rare ever is… it usually something within that has us projecting throughout.
So let’s talk about it…
Scarcity… Fear, Doubt, Worry…
It always comes down to the feeling of lack, whether it is time, money or confidence… self-assurance. The feeling of basically the feeling of not being enough or not having enough, whether in the future or the present time. It will have you reacting to situations on, rather than acknowledging them. This will have us questioning and doubting, it’ll have us delaying what it meant for us. Self-sabotaging. Looking at all the faults and nothing else. Hesitant on taking action, especially committed action. As it is usually rooted in failure.
And the thing is, there are opportunities in every situation. We just have to be willing to see them. And trust that we can. Most importantly, that we will. But in order to do so, we must first know what drives us there…
Fear usually stems from not wanting the past to repeat itself. It stems from holding on to the unfortunate events that have occurred and not them letting go. Doing everything and anything in your power to avoid any resemblance of it. We retract or counteract, impulsively. So the moment we sense a threat, a switch is flipped. One minute to the next, everything kind of changes. Self-preservation kicks in. Suddenly everything is an attack against who you are, and either retract or overextend.
In other words, you either stay clear of the situation or you fight for it. Fear of success vs fear of failure. Fear of success will have you not acting on the situation and fear of failure will have you doing everything for the situation. Fear of success is deeply rooted in failure, but it is masked by inaction as an excuse… ‘I didn’t fail… because I didn’t do anything to fail…’ kind of vibe. Fear of failure is more of doing anything and everything to not show failure, and sometimes it leads to failure. In the former, you are trying to do everything to prove something, to then have something worth proving. Whereas the latter, you’re doing nothing to prove nothing, in fear of not getting something to have nothing worth proving.
Bottom line it all comes down to the fear of the unknown.
Doubt on the other hand, has you in your head. Questioning everything. It will have you making stories, connecting dots that aren’t to be connected. It is driven by a mix of fear and confidence, as it is more the fear of ‘not being’, not being enough, not being what you want, or what it is… rooted in uncertainty. And that is, uncertainty in self. ‘Am I enough?!’ ‘Will is be enough?!’ ‘Is it enough?!’ Stemming from lack of self-confidence in that we are enough and that we have enough. It is the doubt that it can be enough. ‘What if there is more?!’ ‘What if there is something else?!’ The doubt that maybe we found what is more.
It is a lot like F.O.M.O, the fear of missing out. ‘I’ve made mistakes the past, what if this is the same?!’ type of vibe. So when anything thing shows itself as a form of more, we bail. Doubting what is for what could be somewhere else. And again, we either act or we don’t act at all. And if we act, it usually isn’t on impulse, more of a timed exit.
And now worry is rooted in expectation, the fear of something not being a particular way. More so, it doesn’t happen a certain way, it won’t be that way. Worry has us creating stories of what will be based on what it hasn’t been. Very much focused on the negativity, rather than the positive. Not seeing that maybe it is as it is for a given reason, unaware that what is, is as it should be, for everything that is meant to be. It has us down and low. And unlike fear and doubt, it doesn’t have us acting impulsively. It has us stagnant, not acting at all.
Terrified of making the wrong decision, which can ultimately put you in worst situation then you already are emotionally. As it has more to do with lack of self-confidence than anything else. It isn’t fear based, it is solely confidence based. The worry that no matter what you do, it probably won’t work or it could go wrong. And so, we don’t even bother trying, we leave as is… and only until something presents itself do we take action. Because at least that way we took action on something and not nothing.
It is understanding what is it that truly stops us from taking or not taking action, that helps us better understand what needs taking action on. Because we hold ourselves back by entertaining what isn’t for us, or even what it is that is to be learned. For when we a faced with challenges, they are always meant to show us something, whether that be within ourselves or those around us, they are there to push boundaries.
Not acting on them will have us stuck, running on spot, believing that we are moving, when we aren’t. Because it is all part of the journey, and it is a matter of how much are you willing to get out of it. Are you willing to live and learn?! Or would you much rather play it safe?!
And remember acknowledging what is at play is necessary, in order to make change. And more importantly, it isn’t ever a definite one or the other, it’s always a mixture rooted in self-limiting beliefs.