This is a hard one. One of the things I’m learning with myself is containing the excitement within. I’m a kid at heart, I feel in ways a child feels, my emotions are overwhelming. When joyful and excited, happy… I have a surge of energy vibrating through me, and I just want to share it with the world. When sad, hurt and depressed, I’m very much within myself, not so kiddish more isolated. And it’s one thing to isolate ourselves only we are low vibrational, but another thing to isolate ourselves when we are running on high vibrations.
As it is easy to calm overwhelming low vibrations, not so easy to calm the high ones. And to be honest, it’s a lot more lonelier feeling the high and not sharing, then it is, being in a state of low. It’s similar to being in a relationship and feeling alone, then just being single. It’s that realization that all you have is YOU. And for me, it’s easier knowing all I hav is me during low moments, because to be honest all I want is me, not wanting others to see – ashamed. But for the extraordinarily moments, it’s difficult, as all I want is to celebrate and rejoice, as lows have been so apparent and frequent, you can’t help but want jump up and enjoy.
But what I’ve now learnt is opposite. That is, just as much as I am enough to get myself out, I’m enough to share with… in other words, I can accept me as enough to deal with my lows, so forth I am enough to just share my highs with. I don’t require others… and not in a way that only I matter. But in a way that my acceptance of me matters more than all else. So long as I do no harm to others, all is well. And that is where happiness lies.
It starts and ends with us, and only us. But it takes us to acknowledge that, in order to make something of it. For it is within ourselves that we find happiness. Within ourselves that we can share and truly come to enjoy. Nothing outside of us gives us the happiness we seek, as it is all temporary. As much as I want to scream at the top of a mountain when all is well, it’s for a limited time only, and not that all isn’t well more than not. It’s just noting it’s all for a period time. And then that is that. Nothing more. It’s here and then gone and the only that the is constant is you.
So it is knowing that only within you, do you find happiness. Fulfillment in that you are enough, you are enough to get through, enough to share with… enough to be. And there is nothing more to it. So long as we feel good and our heart is in the right place, genuine and real, true to who you are… that is where happiness lies. But only insofar as, you have gotten to know yourself, strip away the expectations of the outside world, truly embracing who you are and has happened regardless of judgment, do you come to find happiness.
Shame?! Regret?! Pure Acceptance.
It is a matter of ridding ourselves of shame and regret. We are who we are. It doesn’t matter if others agree or not. It matters that we own who we are. For we can be whoever it is we want, and still be given the respect we deserve, we have to own it -accept it. When we pretend for the approval of others, the only harm we do is to ourselves -no one else. No one cares if you lie to yourself, expect for you… no one feels it expect for you… so the more we hide our disapproval of ourselves the greater the gap between us and happiness.
Shame and regret is the complete opposite of acceptance, and acceptance is the only way to happiness. Acceptance not only of self, but from those around you. And those around you can only accept, that which you’ve shown to embrace. And we can only embrace, that which we’ve grown to own. For we all have shame and regret, some on the outside and some on the inside, but it is owning it do we get closer to happiness.
Because through that do you come to know the things meant for you, and those that aren’t. For self acceptance takes work, it is a task, one that requires grit. And should you reach a point where you forgive yourself, are you able to flip the bird to those who can’t see beyond. As you know what it took to reach that point, the time and effort spent. The days of depression and weakness. Lost and confused. Alone. Pretending that all is okay, when not.
And that is boundaries… boundaries that create peace, peace for yourself and others. But boundaries begin with ownership and ownership begins with acceptance. And that is ownership of who we are and what we want, regardless of external approval. Because if we have shown ourselves to be more than what we were, we ought not to be subject to what was prior. As what happened, happened… but what is -is. We can’t change the past, but we can change what will be. But we can only do so, when we stop focusing on others opinions, over own. For we will keep jumping back and forth. Some will say this, and some will say that. Hence the importance of boundaries…
Knowing when and where… how to and who to release too. Because the sad truth but most powerful one is, all you got is you. And we can live our lives pretending for the sake of acceptance or we can accept for the sake of living… and only when we live do we find true happiness. Because only then are we taking control, directly influencing the course of our lives. Taking initiative.
As it isn’t in being a victim do we find relief, it is in being the warrior that we do. And if that means you’re a lone solider, do so, until the army built is one worth sustaining. In other words, build yourself so strong that it doesn’t matter who doesn’t vibe, it matters that you do. From there, everything else follows.
For when we release attachment to what isn’t us, and only embrace what is… everything stands in line. As nothing is important than your peace. Regardless of who stands beside you, you aren’t winning if you’re fighting. Winning requires conquering and we only conquer once we relinquish the fight. And that’s the beauty…
For all will come to experience peace, none come to experience chaos. So once you stop the chaos within you, in reference to that outside of you, all becomes clear and happiness comes within reach.