Let’s talk about it. For many of us believe that it is time that heals all wounds, but in actuality it really isn’t. What heals a wound is the processing of it. The diving deep and feeling the pain of it. As time will help release the wound, help in forgetting the pain, but it doesn’t heal it -as the wound must be treated. And treating a wound requires understanding how that wound came to be. Moreover, how that wound impacts, affects and influences the functionality of the whole. The triggers and compensation. And how it is we show up. Most importantly, how we perceive.
You see, processing requires taking a step back. Analyzing and taking note of all the variables that could have potentially triggered the pain within the wound or even the avoidance of pain. So that, we can begin to connect the dots and pinpoint the root cause. Because chances are the pain stems from a wound that lies beneath the surface. One that has been lost throughout time masked by self-preservation, resulting in sabotage, which stems from the lack of understanding one’s self.
And the only way to understand ourselves is by doing the work -not time. Time gives you the space to do the work, but if you don’t do the work, doesn’t matter how many years that pass, the wound will still remain. Pain will be felt each time the wound is triggered. And the likelihood of it being triggered increases, as does the pain. Think of it as an untreated infection.
So then, how do you heal?!
Do the work. Process the wound. Understand the triggers. Because then and only then, are you able to release the pain the lies within infection and from there you can begin narrow in on the root cause. Once you’ve narrow on its’ cause, you see the patterns of influence it’s had on life thus far. As it all starts with you and the role you’ve played in allowing the infection to grow. For the number one rule is that healing requires accountability and ownership -it’s a no pointing fingers game. Because if you are still pointing fingers, and/or excusing, you are not healed. You’re masking and avoiding.
And so, only once you are able to objectively comprehend the impact of how you have been showing up are you truly healed. Because it is only then that you are able to release it, as it no longer pains you, for you have treated the infection. Understanding its’ root cause and therefore realizing that everything that came after was simply a representation -a reminder of that initial pain that was left uncared for.
So in other words, when the past no longer triggers or bothers you is when you know you’ve healed. When you can speak on the situation without feeling low vibrations, but rather with a sense of acknowledgement. A sense of understanding through both the use of ownership and accountability. And not one that deems one party bad and other good, but one that accepts their reaction as a fault and is now able to recognize the weaknesses within them. Where it is they have fallen short and how it is they can strengthen those aspects.
For true healing is strategy in motion. Improvement of self. Knowledge of triggers. And understanding of reaction. Feelings and emotions. Most importantly, the ownership of the cause and its impact. Because then and only then, we are able to extrapolate the benefit of it all. The wisdom offered and provided. The insight to self, which will no longer have you suffering, but rather it’ll be empowering. As it is no longer about anyone and anything else but you.