I had enrolled into back into dance, it became my escape -still is. It is my drug, a way for me to release all and any tension, any built up emotion. The thing is it is still avoidance, but just in a different form. So it makes me wonder if it is just substitution? And if so, do we all have these ‘forms’ of substitution? A method of escape? Is it something we need in order to move forward? To cope what all that has happened and all that is? For sure. We need healthy methods of release, a way in which we escape reality, even if it is for a split second, we need it for our own sanity.
As for love, I didn’t let anyone in, shutdown until I met my ex-fiance… I spent four and half years on complete shut down, and I mean complete… it was an interesting time, as I embraced the power of being a women. It was lovely, I risked a lot and I learnt a shit ton about myself and others, that is the characters in society… types of people. It was a time where the world was my testing ground, I would make plays and observe. I was a student both in school and life, I was there to learn, I wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice, that’s the next story. But, this is the end for now…
To be continued… not yet.. but sometime soon.