The concept of failure has played a huge role throughout my life, it literally is a vicious cycle within all the others, which makes it probably the most dangerous, because not only do we fear failure, but we fear success as well. Often at times, not allowing ourselves to take the necessary actions, being too afraid of things not working out just as much as we are afraid of it working out, given that both lead to the question ‘what than?’, ‘what do I do next?’. And, sometimes we fear failure so much, we become enslaved by success… and we just keep going, going and going, afraid that if we stop or when we stop, we have failed, for it will never be enough for it to feel like ‘success’, and if and when it does, there is always something more. And, it can be mistruded with determination, but don’t be fooled by how great your mind is at playing tricks, having you believe something completely different from that which is.
I’ve always known the fear of failure that lived in me, it was most definitely apparent throughout my life, as I shared in a prior post Haunted By The Past, a lot happened, which allowed me to create this kind of view to myself, that I was a failure at life. Determined, but a failure, which in ways manifested into becoming determined at being a failure, putting myself in situations to only fail and feed into my pity party. But, to than become obsessed with everything having to be a success, that I would actually be too afraid to act, thinking that given my track record, the chances of success are very slim and I would aboard mission; while, at the same time thinking I didn’t do enough for it to feel like success, so I would keep going and going; that is what vicious cycles are all about, which I explain in the workshop freebie, Vicious Cycles – How They Work. And as I said, I have always been aware of this cycle of failure I created, but it wasn’t until I put myself in the most uncomfortable of situations, moving to a whole new country… alone.
The transition has literally forced me out of my comfortable zone in many ways, so much of me is still very afraid of failure, but this time around it isn’t so much of failure, as it is being alone and figuring it out on my own, that is, it isn’t about failing at things not working out, but rather at not being able to be alone and figuring it out. But, it is still very much failure, regardless of the context, I’m still afraid of something not working out… not happening and falling through. And, being that this journey has forced me out of my comfort zone in ways, it raised awareness to just how deep the fear of failure rests within my being… my mind… understanding just how aggressive it really is, flourishing into all sorts of other avenues within my life, manifesting in so much different ways… it’s quite mindblowing how the mind can manipulate our state of being to that which is it accustomed to feeling and/or thinking relative to our current circumstances.
This fear of ‘not being able to figure it out’ creates the determinism to figure it out, while the anxiety of being away from everything known, everything and everyone I love, increases… but, I refuse to ‘fail’ so I continue going and going, pushing through, so I could say that for once in my life I succeed at something… yet, part of me still feels like a failure. For even if I do succeed on figuring it out, my mind creates another story, that I was unable to figure things out beside the people I love… I wasn’t strong enough to withstand that politics of my life, so the only way to succeed is to avoid, and it begs the question… is it really success? Granted that, I failed at making things work in a city I was born and rised in, next to everything known to me. It just goes full circle, and will continue going, if not made aware to it. Hence, why it is so important to understand ourselves on a deeper level, such that we can pinpoint the cause of our actions and lack of, freeing ourselves from our justifications and opening ourselves up to that will change our lives by tranforming our mind.
The purpose of the Master Your Mind Workshop is to help you understand what kind of life you have created for yourself by allowing to certain emotions and feelings overcome you, but also to identify the root cause, giving you massive breakthroughs on why life is what it is for you right now at this moment. And, because of that, it actually provides with all that you need to overcome any of life’s obstacles and challenges, it gives you the framework to understand your mind and how it works, which it turn allows you to become a master of your own mind, manipulating it for the better… for the good… for that which serves you.
The question is are you willing to set yourself free?