I can’t seem to figure out,
How I did what I did,
Act so out of character,
Doing things that,
Go against every fibre of my being,
Doing things,
That I never thought I would do,
Things that I despised.
It was like I was someone else,
Someone completely different,
Unrecognizable,
To the point that,
I didn’t even know,
The person in the mirror.
For I knew it was wrong,
Knew I shouldn’t have,
Been doing what I was.
Yet I enjoyed every minute of it,
I loved it,
Feeling so alive.
Yet I can’t help but wonder,
What it all meant,
And now all I want are answers.
For who I am?
What does it all make me?
It isn’t what happens that defines you,
It is what you do about it,
That makes you who you are,
And the intent for why,
Is what places you on the path,
To who you are meant to be.
And what it makes you is,
One willing to supersede their guilt,
Accept their faults,
And embrace their strength,
That is,
The strength to overcome.
For sometimes we have to do bad things,
For the right reasons.
So know that you didn’t do it for you,
For did it for them.
And yes,
You may have hurt them,
But not anymore,
Than you injured your soul,
And not anymore,
Than you would if you continued the lie.
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