Life can hit us like a ton of bricks, it is all or nothing. Sometimes the hits are so hard we don’t know where to turn, what to do, where to start, how to start, and leaves us feeling defeated and lost. Things can tear us apart, break us, faster then they built us, and in the blink of an eye your life can change drastically. But note, that works both ways, it is a matter of faith and taking the neccessary steps toward healing yourself and committing to them.
Whether it be a break up, lack of confidence, sickness or addiction, there are basic steps you can take toward healing yourself and moving forward, passed all the nonsense that is life at this moment.
Accepting the current situation is one of the first steps to moving forward. That means accepting what the situation is and what it is bringing into your life. Acceptance means no longer focusing on the problem, focusing on what happened, it means allowing yourself to feel the necessary emotions, rather than fighting them. So cry if you need to cry, scream if you need to scream, do whatever it takes to let it out, and accept that it is okay to feel the way you do, don’t fight it, just embrace and accept.
2. No Pity Parties
Yes, you need to feel and know it is okay to feel, to cry, to scream, but make sure not to willow in your sorrows. Avoid playing the victim, avoid asking questions, such as ‘why me?’, ‘how could this happen?’ or ‘what did I do to deserve this?’… these questions allow you to justify feeling sorry for yourself. If you feel sorry for yourself it suggests you’re NOT in control, and if you are not control then you will have a much harder time moving forward and healing from the situation. And in the end, you will never find answers to any of those questions, you will just keep asking them over and over, without certainty in any potential responses you find.
3. Take Responsibility
Taking responsibility is harder than you think, it means take responsibility for how you feel. You may not have caused set emotions, but you are responsible for feeling them. Responsibility means owning what part you played in it all, you may not believe you played a role, but you did. And, by denying you played a part, you are victimizing yourself yet again, therefore making it more difficult to move passed; as again, it suggests you are not in control. For we all play a role in whatever happens in our life, whatever outcome we get, whether it was what we wanted or didn’t, we played a role. In others, we allowed it to happen, and when allowed I mean the little things; we accepted ourselves in the whole situation and allowed things certain things to happen (letting things slide, believing in things, etc.) and justified it as being who we are and thinking it was we needed to be in the situation as a whole. Take responsibility for the role you played whether or not you caused the pain, you were a part of it’s creation and accepting that gives control in moving forward.
Take control over our emotions, over your current situation and make a choice to move forward. What happened, happened and there is nothing you can do about it. You could continue sitting in your sorrows over something you can’t change or choose to move forward creating something that you can change, regardless of the situation the choose is yours. And, know that if you keep focusing on the problem, your mind won’t allow you to think of a solution, of a way out, it will just continue and you won’t ever heal. Choosing is probably one of the most powerful things you can do, it suggests you are in control of your life and you have the power to make a difference, create change… and what could be more powerful than that?! So, make the choose to take ownership of your life and move forward.
5. Commit Yourself
Commit yourself to the choose, to healing and progress. And, should you fall into a pity party, it’s okay, recommit. Follow the steps and know that it is okay to relaspe into the heartship, but don’t make it an excuse, make it a point. A point to heal from the inside out, to find peace within yourself and with what happened. Be purposeful with your commitment, afterall it is a commitment to yourself, for yourself. So be honest, because you deserve it. You deserve to be a powerful purposeful human in all your actions, so act with intention when committing to healing and you will move forward.
Healing has its ups and downs, it can take you for ride and it can be easy to fall victim to your own self-depleting thoughts. But, if you are truly determined to heal and move forward, than follow these steps. Act with purpose and intention, and you will find peace within yourself for yourself. For it doesn’t matter what has happened, it matter what you do moving forward, because you can’t change the past, but you can change the future. It’s a matter of making the decision to heal.