no choice

No Choice

At first I missed you,
At first I felt lost without you.

So though,
I didn’t who I was.

So though,
I wasn’t of significance,
Without your presence,
Without your being.

As much as I hated you,
I loved you.

As much as I loved you,
I hated you.

It was hard at first,
Letting go.

Not seeing you,
Not seeing your name pop up,
On my phone,
My feed,
My story.

But now,
I feel free,
More than ever,
And I have you to thank for that.

For you made letting go,
So much easier,
Almost so though you did it for me,
And you did.

So I thank you,
For the hurt,
For the silence,
The ignorance,
And the disregard.

For without that,
Without your inability to speak on that,
That which makes you uncomfortable,
I won’t have be able to let go,
I would have held on.

For that is who I am,
Thick and think,
No matter what.

But you made it easier for me,
You gave me no choice.

No choice,
But to let go,
Let go of that which never existed,
Of that which I thought you were.

That is,
No choice,
But to accept that which is,
No choice,
But to let go.

So I thank you,
Thank you,
For setting me free.

Thank you,
Making me accept,
Giving me,
No choice.