So, It Begins

And two weeks was all it took, sold my car, packed my place and rented it out for the year. A year away, a year of filled with exploring, writing and growing… a year with myself just living the simple life… dedicated to the soul… the adventurer deep down inside me… the lover of wisdom and growth. And, I can’t wait to explore, to immerse myself in culture… in life… in living. One year of travelling, writing and mentoring… a year to define myself… a year for greatness. And there is the potential that I could let it slide and do nothing with it, but if you know me… that’s not me, I have to make it count… it’s all or nothing. Because, why half ass anything?! It would just be a waste of energy… maybe it’s just me, but I don’t exert energy into that which I’m not willing to see through to the end… that which I don’t want fully… it’s would be pointless.

Anyways, it’s been bittersweet. My place emptier and emptier each day, people walking in and out, deciding on whether or not this will be their next home… it’s all so strange to me, part of me is excited and the other part is so attached. Letting go is hard, even if it’s for a limited time and good reasons but, it’s all worth it in the end. And, as much as I love getting lost, not knowing what’s next… just vibing… I love walking the streets and knowing where I’m going… there are pros and cons to everything. And, this is a love and hate situation… it’s bittersweet. It took a lot for me to sign my place over to my realtor for renting… it was diffcult… a commitment -a serious one. Because, it meant it’s for real… it’s not just talk, it’s really happening. And like I said, I’m excited but I’m going to miss a lot of people… it’s going to be hard, filled with a lot of ups and downs… homesickness.

The unfortunate part is I wish my two weeks back were a bit different, I wanted to do more… wanted to take some drop-in dance classes and actually enjoy the city, but given my allergic reaction it’s been rough… basically home, working and packing, feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin.. it’s been… well, it’s been what it is… but, I guess everything happes for a reason. Don’t know what it is yet, but the answer shall reveal itself with time. The important part is what needed to get done got done, and I made sure to make time for those that were willing to make time for me.. embracing every moment.. every individual; although, there was one… one person I didn’t see… kind of wished I did, it’s a complicated situation… baby steps.

The thing is we take moments for granted, for we never know when we will have that opportunity to spend time with them again or even speak to them. Cherish the people around you, the people that care enough to take time out of their day for you, the ones that see past the benefits you offer… appreciate them, even if it’s just for a moment, it’s such an incredible experience to have, feeling great for both sides; being acknowledged brings such joy to one’s heart, especially when unexpected, and being the one showing acknowledgement, illustrates you just how powerful you are… how much you can change someone’s day in one instance… in just a moment, you can shift everything for them -mindblowing. So, it’s important to embrace your power, the impact you have on those around you, cherish and appreciate them, even if it is just for a moment, be present to the engagement… the exchange of energy, because we will never know if or when we will have it again. We neglect to realize that things change fairly quickly… life happens, time passes and everything shifts. Who knows what will happen in a year? What I’ll be coming back too…

Like I said, it’s bittersweet, leaving everything behind, especially when so much has gone unspoken and right now there just isn’t the time… it’s a complicated situation with two very complicated people and that requires quite a bit of time… lots of time. And, time is something I don’t have right now, and as much as I want to make time… right now is my time. And, though there is a chance that I may lose out but, it’s about having faith. In the end, if I do miss out, it’s all good… it just wasn’t meant to be… and as much as that hurts to say, it’s something I have to accept. But, there is no doubt in my mind that time will mend all, and patience along with effort will provail. One step at a time.

But going back, many of us take things for granted, failing to realize how much we mean to the people around us… how much we impact them… more importantly, how much they impact us. And, it’s a matter of being aware of all that surrounds us, all the love that others give us… the love that we offer them without even knowing. It’s the beauty of life… something so many of us fail to acknowledge. And, being away for two months showed me just how important it is to just be, be with one and other… how important it is to embrace your worth, along with that of others… acknowledge just how significant you are in this world, being grateful and appreciative of how much love you have around you… because, one day that love could be miles away…

And, so it begins…

Leaving everything I know… everyone I love and care about behind… one year… exciting, but so terrifying. All alone, missing the people I want to be with most. But, this is a new chapter, a new journey… new life experience… and we will see where it leads me. For right now, all I can do is live…