You aren't denying self-love, but you are most definitely misguided by what it means to show yourself love. You desperately seek it in anything and everything, but yourself. You go to extremes to uplift your energy, but aren't consistent with it, only trying in moments of desperation. And in those moments, whatever you do acts as mask, a bandaid that will inevitably fall off. You aren't healing your wounds, you are masking them temporarily. Consistency and patience is key.

You avoid self-love, finding distractions and substitutions. You think if it is out of sight out of mind, it doesn't exist, it isn't a problem. You smile and go about your day. And anything that hurts you, you throw under the rug, as though it never occurred, never existed... never happened. You trick yourself into thinking you are okay, when really you are not. You avoid feeling at all costs. Deceiving yourself, believing that you are healed, when really you have yet to acknowledge the impact of it all. The key is acceptance and respect.

You are oblivious, not because you choose too. You neglect yourself, because you don't prioritize yourself. Placing everyone's needs and everything else above yours, refilling everyone's cup but your own. Giving and giving, while failing to realize you are receiving nothing in return, not even from yourself. The key is here is honour and honesty.

You desperately crave self-love and you do everything for it, from reading self-help books to listening to podcasts, but you still feel unsatisfied deep down. Looking for more, searching for whatever else you can do... because there must be something that will create the 'aha' moment and that's it. You are over complicating and thinking there is more when you have everything you need already. Simplicity and choice is the key.