Before making a decision, what do you ask yourself?
What are the reasons for why not to do something?
Everything is going wrong, one thing after another, your reaction is?
What are the reasons for why to do something?
If you had already made a decision, what would change your mind?
Would you burn a bridge?
Why Can't You Move On?
Inability to Accept
As explained, the inability to accept is based on the unwillingness to see the truth, accept the things as they are for what they are. And as mentioned, it can be manifested by means of seeking closure and/or having false hope. It is the thought of thinking you need something more, something else, to move on and close the chapter. In other words, thinking you need answers to all your questions, and even when you have the answers you are still trying to wrap your head around it, you still don't understand... how or why?! Now in order to rid yourself of this and move forward, you have to figure out ask yourself why can't you accept it... and the majority, 95%, of the time you can't accept it, because you have yet to find the answer that suffices. And why that is, because you are looking in the wrong places, externally, when it is internal. In other words, instead of you asking how and why it happened, ask yourself why you are resisting acceptance... what are you unwilling to accept... what are you afraid of accepting... dig deep. And believe me when I say you will know when you find the answer.
As explained, closure is the reliance on receiving justification and explanation from others to ease our hurt and pain. It is the belief that someone else's logic and reasoning will relief us, make things better somehow, easier to move on. It is us telling ourselves that we need to understand what happened, we need to know why it happened, and if we know that, it will be solve everything and closing the chapter will be as easy as drinking a cup of coffee. But that is not the case, as closure only comes from within, granted that when coming from a place of hurt and pain, you will only understand what you deem logical and reasonable, you won't be in a position to understand someone else's logic or reason. So in this case, it requires reflection... self-reflection. Asking yourself what exactly is it you need closure on? What is it you are asking? What do you think it will give you? And why? What you are hoping to get out of it? Then ask yourself, will it really change the hurt and pain you feel? And be honest with your answers. Sit in your answers and as you do so, you will slowly become aware of what you are holding onto; or rather, your inability to let go of this false belief in receiving closure from another. Next step... figure out what you are insecure about, for there is a reason why you are relying on someone else for something only you could provide yourself. Final step... heal that side.
As explained, loneliness and emptiness is not having anyone or anything during the healing process. Not knowing what you will have to holding onto after letting go. As your pain and hurt is all you know, and once relieved of it, you will be empty, without someone to blame... without someone to point the finger too. And you will have to take responsibility and act on it, throughout which you will be alone... having only yourself to rely on to do the work, that is, the self-care required to heal. A process which you relate to loneliness, so you find it easier to hold on to the pain and hurt, which in turn gives someone to blame for it all. The only way to move forward from this is to get over it! Get over your blame game, take responsibility and make a change. Because as much as you be feel alone in it all, chances are you aren't and the freedom in the end it is worth it all. So make a move or else you will forever be accompanied by hurt and pain.
As explained, fear stems from the unknown. The unknown end, the false hope in potential for the circumstance to change. The unknown outcome, uncertain of what comes after, and what after means... what it entails. The 'not knowing' what moving on looks like makes you hold on, as you only know what holding on looks like. And travelling a road of certainty, known to you, is more comforting than not, even if it holding on to what hurts and pains you. Why not be comfortable in your pain then uncomfortable in freedom?! In addition, it is the fear of taking ownership, responsibility for your role... it is the avoidance of internal reflection and self discovery, that is, the fear of what you will find out. In this case, the only way to free yourself is to embrace the unknown. Ask yourself if you rather continue in heartache or move beyond it? Because as scary as the unknown may be, it is exciting, because it means something new... something different... different than what you know. And if all you know is bad, then it could in fact show you something good. So why run from it? Why not run toward it?! Living in the unknown, is living in nothing, and when living in nothing, you can create something... something better. Rather than, living in something which you already know the outcome too. So let go of the fear and whatever idea you have of it, and embrace 'the nothing' that comes from the unknown, that is, the ability to create and potential for something extraordinary.
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