Feeling

I keep finding myself
Feeling…
Feeling everything I’ve avoided
For the last 6 months…

Keeping busy,
With hints of pain and hurt…
Reality trying to check in on me…

I hate the feelings,
The hate the emotions…

Life is already hard and yet…
Life is already so demanding and yet..
Here I am stuck…

Stuck in feeling…
Stuck on emotion…

Unable to move forward,
Regardless of how hard I try…
I can’t…

Because I must feel…
I must feel every bit of it,
To heal every second of it…

Something which I despite,
For only happiness is what I want..
Happiness is what I’ve fought for…

And yet,
Here I am…

Feeling everything I don’t want too…

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